Going to the doctor's office is intimidating enough. Hearing him or her make one of the following statements is downright scary. Here we go:
10. Mom! Timmy's hogging the scapel!
9. pass that...dohickery
8. Hey good news, we are going to name this disease after you!
7. The test results say that you only have 6 weeks to live. Sorry that it took 5 weeks to get the test results.
6. Whoops, good thing he has two of those!
5. I didnt go to medical school for 1 year for nothing!
4. Anyone seen my watch?
3. (while doing an ultrasound on a pregnant woman) - Have you ever seen "The Fly"?
2. I was halfway through medschool when I realized that the only real cure is vitamin Jesus.
And the #1 thing you don't want to hear your doctor say:
1. You put the scalpel in, you take the scapel out, you put the scalpel in, and you shake it all about....
And the runners-up:
- Whoa, don't throw that away, we might need it later!
- At the proctologists: "The doctor is in!"
- Man I love duct tape!
- I'm afraid Viagra just won't be enough.
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